Being a parent is all about being flexible. Plans change left and right, moment to moment, and one is expected to roll with it. I am a planner. I like schedules and lists. I like to know I am doing yoga every Thursday and swimming every Friday. These two things do not always gel, in fact they often clash, like oil and water. This past week was a clash of Titanic proportions. Thursday yoga was shot down due to a funeral for a friend’s mom, which I left feeling emotionally drained. Swimming was swapped out for kayaking and hiking with a friend. This was great, except we got lost and were running late and ended up hiking 6 miles instead of 3 and running back through the mud. I was so sweaty my clothes were soaked, my hair was dripping, and I could barely walk the next day. Then I spent the rest of the weekend playing catch up and didn’t get to go running with my running group on Sunday.

Today (Monday) was a bear. I was exhausted the whole day. By noon I could barely keep my eyes open. When I got home, my 10 (almost 11) year old wanted a hug. Right away I knew something was wrong. We are in the middle of making the transition to middle school, and on top of this, we changed school districts last year. He is very anxious (like his mother) but at the same time very socially unaware. He’s in counseling, and hasn’t been diagnosed with Asperger’s, but it wouldn’t surprise me. He told me he sits alone at lunch, and has stopped trying to join groups because it never works out. He was also frustrated because he didn’t write down any of his assignments so he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do for homework. Now this kid is crazy smart. He could read at age 2 and do algebra in first grade. But he is also crazy forgetful. If he doesn’t deem it important, he won’t bother to remember. So he was mad at himself for being forgetful, and mad at the other kids for not accepting who he is. This was quickly heading in a downward spiral of self pity and self loathing. I know because I go there myself. So I grabbed my running shoes, we headed to the local park, and ran it out. After 2.5 miles of him just talking about whatever came into his head, we came home, he finished his homework, showered and went to bed in a much better mood.

Now today was a lucky day. I was able to finish most of my work at work, and we magically didn’t have a child’s activity tonight. There are many nights we don’t have time for a run, or the weather doesn’t cooperate. We’re heading into winter here in Western NY which is no joke. But due to being flexible and changing plans, we got that time together, and I was able to share a great coping mechanism which he will hopefully use in the future. I can’t make other people be nice to my kid, but running helps me be a nicer person, and helps him accept himself.