Three days after my failed triathlon, life goes on. I went to work the next day, I took my kids blueberry picking, I weeded my garden. I have not gotten back on my bike. The day after The Flat, my partner took my bike into the local bike shop to ask about tougher tires.

The woman at the shop quizzed him,” what roads is she riding on? Maybe she’s riding on a road that has a lot of debris? Maybe she should change her route?”

He said,” everyone else is riding the same roads, she’s the only one who has had 4 flat tires this summer.”

Bike shop,” well we have two different models, this one is more lightweight, which do you think is better for her…”

My partner, who is a serious introvert and knows very little about road bikes or triathlons, said, ”I want the one that won’t go flat on the side of a highway in the middle of a triathlon!” end of discussion. $135 later, I have a new tube, two armadillo tires with ‘anti flat technology’ stamped on the side, and my handlebar tape is re-wrapped at no extra charge.

I picked it up yesterday, and I have a run/cycle date tomorrow with the gazelles. It’s a tough mix between wanting to hang out and exercise with my friends, and always being the slowest one, always having them wait for me. On one hand, they know this and keep inviting me. On the other hand, maybe they’re too nice to exclude me? Or they didn’t know what they were getting into the first time they invited me, and now I’m grandfathered in? Or maybe I overthink this too much and no one else gives it a second thought. Maybe I should just get my ass back on my bike instead of wrestling with insecurities.

The next tri is 8/5. What have I learned? Let me tell you: 1) you are allowed to change a tire during a tri. In fact, if the lag truck catches up to you, they are allowed to help you, since they are officially part of the race. 2) there are Kevlar tires out there with ‘antiflat technology.’ 3) there are CO2 canisters that you can use to inflate your changed tire, as using a hand pump to get up to 110 psi is probably not going to happen. 4) I have an amazing, supportive, fabulous tribe who supports me even when I don’t finish, encourages me to try again, and builds each other up stronger.

My goal this time is the same as last time: show up, race, and cross the finish line. I’d like to say I’m more accepting of the fact that I might not finish, but I’d be lying. I want it now more than ever, and I am determined to make it happen. Here’s to August 5.