Everyone says, “Decrease the amount of stress in your life!” Ok, sure. I’ll just uncheck the box that says ‘stress’ and then things will be all better! <sarcasm>

What happens when your stress is unavoidable? What happens when you have two challenging, neuro-diverse children who need more than you were prepared to give as a parent? Not saying that I won’t give it, just that when I signed up to have kids, I wasn’t prepared for/expecting this. And THIS includes a lot of extra work, extra anxiety, extra worry, extra research, extra advocacy, extra money, extra time off work. It includes a daily mental plan and trying to be 3 moves ahead of your child with autism so you can prevent a meltdown, get his homework done, his teeth brushed, maybe even a shower in there. Everything that we take for granted is so much harder for him, and he needs time to decompress. A lot of time to decompress. Adding to this, it’s not forgetting your other child. It’s getting the high schooler to his various events, talking through social situations, and helping him plan/think through a schedule, which is insanely hard with his adhd.

What happens when your (extremely bright, ‘high functioning’) child with autism struggles with emotional regulation, because he doesn’t understand his own feelings? And then he is unable to regulate at school? and then the principal, instead of trying to help your child learn to regulate, wants to expel him for being a discipline problem and a safety threat? He’s an 8 year old with a water bottle, let’s all calm down. It’s hard to send your child to a school when you a) feel like they don’t like your child and b) don’t feel that they can adequately support your child. Every day I feel nauseous. I’ve lost 30 lbs in 4 months bc of the stress. I have continuous pressure in my chest all day long.

So how do I flip this? What in this ridiculous mess am I grateful for? This morning, I sat on the couch and my 14 year old and my 8 year old sat on either side of me. We were all hugging and they said how much they loved each other and me. I am so grateful that, amongst our insanity, even with their different abilities, they love and feel loved, they are affectionate and helpful, they know they have parents who love and support them no matter what.