I swam a mile today. I hadn’t swum in over two weeks for multiple reasons. Let me back up. I have two neuro-spicy kids. The younger one started 4th grade two months ago and it’s not going well. He has had both in and out of school suspension, as well as multiple parent meetings and write ups. The school is working with him and with us, but it’s been a lot of homework both night and first thing in the morning (because he refuses to do work in class). It’s been a lot of emotional support and snuggles and rebuilding our relationship with him so he feels safe at home. Which means we’re all exhausted, anxiety is running high, and there’s no time for any exercise.

Today I finally got to swim again. The pool is an amazing place to think through a lot of things. The peace of the water, the rhythmic breathing and strokes, the counting laps, so devine. I was slow, I took too many breaks, but I got it done. and I came to a conclusion. My kids and I deserve our space. I am a slow swimmer, but I can take up a lane just like anyone else. My kids deserve to go to a regular school, attend church and sunday school, be in sports and clubs, just like anyone else. No apologies for who we are or the fact that our responses are not ‘normal’ responses, that our ‘weirdness’ makes others uncomfortable, or we feel like imposters. Everyone deserves space. We deserve space. You deserve space. Take it. Own it. It’s yours.